If I was to own a rabbit
(a situation that
were it to actually happen
would astonish both the animal in question
I would never call it Fluffy or Sweetums
or any of those other cringeifying names
in their utter preciousness
would have any self-aware animal huddling in fear
of addled spinsters
in search of pseudochildren.
It's never helplessness
that makes the bunnies look scared
it's the thought of hearing one more
talk to them in pookywookywookies
and ask whether they wouldn't like
an itty bitty cawwot
for their wittle tumtums.
can you blame them?
It's a lot for any being to bear without shudders
especially one tough enough to live
(bet you didn't know that one, Ms Snugglemuffin)
No, rabbits deserve better
and if I was to own one
it would be Thrasher
(complete with studded collar)
and if anyone dared speak to it
I would give it my complete permission
to chew off every single one
of her daintily
Er... yeah. I don't do so well with cute.